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Monday, November 24th, 2008
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I just went on a date. Me. On a date. With someone I don't already have some kind of involvement with.
A date.
I am so giddy right now.
I had a blast.
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Monday, September 8th, 2008
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Hey guys. The short version of the story is I'm applying for every scholarship I qualify for, whether or not I actually have the talent for it. This is one of those cases. This is, as you can tell, a photograph competition with no criteria other than it has to be original. I'm not exactly a talented photographer, but I'm submitting a few that I like for one reason or another. I need your help though. Some winners are selected by a panel of people running the contest, but some of the prizes are based on votes. This is where you come in :) All it takes is a click. Please take a look and please vote!
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Thursday, July 17th, 2008
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I get to go into the collision hall next week.
THE COLLISION HALL.
Do you realize how cool that is?
I even get a radioactivity badge.
That should scare me a little, but I'm way too excited that I'm going to be 2 feet away from the detector I've been working on.
I am going to stand in the thing that a beam going 0.998c goes through. Holy hell.
I am totally geeking out about this.
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Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
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I am so doing a dance right now.
And I feel completely justified in my "yeah, that's right, screw you" attitude.
This is going to be a good year.
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Life is awesome. I just thought I should say that considering my usual pessimistic view.
No I haven't been drinking.
Life just kind of rocks.
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Finals were last week, and I'm actually really concerned about my grades. I'm right on the border for three of my four classes. It's been a killer semester...biochem is not my forte, and astrophysics was an experience to say the least. I've pulled more all nighters than should be acceptable, and the drama seems to have been nonstop. I physically and mentally needed the semester to be over.
I have five weeks until my internship starts. I'm staying in Kalamazoo for two of them before heading back to Illinois.
I visited Laura this weekend at Ferris. It was alot of fun. We went to a formal Saturday night which was AWESOME because I'm a dork like that. I just miss her alot. I hate being so far away from everyone.
Ryan is coming to visit in a week for his birthday. I'm really hoping the weather clears up so there can be adventures to the beach, because there is really nothing to do here for five days.
The last weekend before I go back to IL we're going to Cedar Point for opening weekend. I'm not exactly sure who "we" is going to entail because everything is way up in the air.
My internship starts June 2nd and ends around August 8th. I hope it's going to be as awesome as I think it's going to be...but it's a particle accerlator, it has to be awesome.
I'm planning on going to DCI finals on August 9th. I don't know if anyone is going with me yet, but I really want to go. It's close enough that it would be stupid to pass it up.
I want to come to LO the following week. It seems to be my best bet for seeing the most people. So if you're going to be in the area, clear your calendars! I'll be 21 and I intend to celebrate it with you all!
All in all, it's going to be a busy summer, but I'm excited for it. Alot of good things are going on.
I really feel like I have something deeply profound to say, but I can't quite figure out what it is yet. I guess you'll just have to wait and see if it comes out sometime.
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Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
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In case anyone hasn't heard yet, I have an internship this summer!
I will be working at the Fermi National Particle Accelerator Lab in IL!
I'm excited beyond excited for this!!
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Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
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| Time: | 12:32 am. |
| Music: | ironically enough, The Sleeping. |
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It's 12:30 right now. In the morning. Again. I'm seeing alot of this hour lately. I should be sleeping, but I'm not. I'm not because I can't. I can't because I have gotten so used to not sleeping that when I have time to, my body doesn't know what to do. It gets confused or something. My brain can't switch off. So I'm sitting here, exhausted and wide awake, again, thinking about why I can't sleep in hopes of coming up with a solution. Instead I've just come up with an excrutiating list of reasons why.
I'm six weeks into the semester, and I'm burnt out. I'm already burnt out. But it's not that semester burn out that you expect to hit. This feels like that burnt out where everything feels like it should just be done. I've been worrying about things for so long that my mind has finally decided it has had enough. It's taking a vacation, but didn't invite the rest of me.
A few weeks ago I pulled two all nighters...in a row. I was up for 63 hours, from 8AM Wednesday morning to 11PM Friday night. With no caffeine. Do you know how hard that is? I don't understand how only taking 14 credits can leave me with so much to do and so little time to do it in. I really wish that all that studying of modern physics last semester had left me with an idea of how to use relativity to my advantage and add more hours to the day. If I was the size of an electron it would be possible. Alas, I am just a hair larger than that. That's probably pretty literal too since I've managed to fall into old habits and have lost some weight. Old habits being giving up eating too. Not intentionally, you know I love food, I just get so tired I don't feel hungry. That sounds a little backwards to me, but who am I to question the inner workings of my weird little body.
I've been working on a lesson plan for a three hour class period all semester. I had to do that three hour lesson tonight, and it bombed. This makes me sad, not only because I thought everything was well planned and should have gone well, but because I worked so hard and lost so much sleep trying to finish it and it bombed. It was twenty pages at the end of it all. Twenty. Twenty pages. I have never written twenty pages for anything. Not even a lab report. And I'm anal about details in lab reports. Except for in organic. In organic I skipped details alot, because the details usually pointed out that I had messed up royally.
I was in two car accidents in a week and a half. Two. Prior to that, in my four years of driving, I hadn't even had a mishap with a shopping cart. I got t boned in my parking lot by an idiot cutting through and going too fast in bad snow, and I got rear ended on my way to campus. How does that happen? And why? I'm not angry about the car getting mashed up. It's a giant chunk of metal, I expect things to happen to it. I'm mad about how that affects my time, because it's time I can't afford to lose. It's been in the shop over a week now, and "if I'm lucky" it'll be done just in time for me to not be able to pick it up because I'll already be back in St. Charles for spring break.
I'm taking astrophysics because it sounded fun. Yes, I know, that sounds absolutely wrong and disgusting. But it did. It's the class after modern, and I loved modern, and it was suppose to have alot of things in common with modern, so it sounded like a grand idea. I've decided now that it was one of the worst ideas I've had in a while. Never should you be in a class where impossible homework is worth forty percent of your grade. It's interesting, but geeze, I thought the math in calc was messed up...
History is a horrible gen ed. I'm not going to waste my time talking about it. Just know that I will be spending spring break writing nine papers for it. Nine. Figure that out.
Biochem is a waste of time, but I still go. Aren't you proud of me? I still go, and I still feel lost, and I still feel like it's a waste of time. And if he says "but you already knew that from your biology/physiology/genetics/molecular biology class" one more time I might actually throw something at him. I guess it's a good thing I sit in the back, don't have a good arm, and can't aim.
Lab reports are hard to do on labs you don't understand. I just wrote a lab report on something I did that supposedly had to do with finding the heat capacity of two gases. The only reason I knew that is because I looked at an old lab report that told me so. I really wish our prof would acually stay in the room so we knew what the hell was going on.
I'm tutoring a couple people this semester, some for organic. I don't know how I got suckered into that. Well, actually I do, but that's beside the point. You can't say no to tutoring someone when the prof specifically recommended you for tutoring and is probably the one responsible for getting you a scholarship. That just makes you a jackass. And I don't like to be a jackass.
I'm also a grader for an intro to chemistry class and an intro to organic class. It's slightly saddening, because there's nothing I can do about the fact that none of them have a clue what's going on in their respective classes. I try to find excuses to give them points, but too often there is literally nothing right on a paper.
I've started giving myself a break each week by going to the rock climbing wall. I've gotten pretty good at it again, although they rearranged the holds to deter short people from climbing over the ledge on the hard wall. I get up to it though, so it's a start. I will crack the system yet.
I'm in a perpetual state of exhaustion. And as such, I feel like I'm constantly cranky. I can't take a joke anymore. Or maybe I can't take hypocritical jokes. Those seem to be popping up more and more. It feels like I'm being kicked when I'm down. And I'm always down. Every task I finish, two more appear to replace it. There's no end to it. I'm constantly playing the "where can I afford to lose points" game. In exams I'm playing the "who am I smarter than" game, hoping I can pick out at least half the class. I've accepted it's impossible to finish everything, especially to the level of perfection I usually demand of myself. It's physically just not a feasible feat. I admire that I can recognize and accept that, because anyone who knows me well knows that that is not something that would come easily to me, I just hate that I have to do it. It's become a game of "finish everything enough that you get enough credit to still hold a competitive spot in the class." I did horribly on my physics exam, according to my standards, but I was number three in a class of ten, so I can safely assume that I'm in a passing position.
I feel so heavy, so groggy all the time. I can't function anymore. I need to sleep. I need to sleep well. I need to switch everything off. I need a break. An actual, real break. Free of obligation. Free of commitment. Free of thought almost. My head can't take this anymore. My body can't take this anymore. I'm pretty sure my heart can't take this. I can't do it. I need this to be done. I need help.
Maybe I'll hire a small midget to do my work for me...
I say a small midget because someone of that stature could easily live in my closet.
Problem solved.
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Thursday, June 28th, 2007
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There will be bowling. And there will be Sagebrush. They could be the same night, they could not. I don't care. But they're happening.
Sara and Sarah, the three of us have to go to Starbucks. Duh.
If anyone has any other requests, or has a date preference on the aforementioned events, let me know.
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I am coming back to LO July 2. I'll get in late afternoon/evening, and I'll be staying through Saturday morning.
So clear you calendars, I want to see everybody.
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Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
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Hey, so I've been up for just shy of 24 hours now. The shift at work sucked because the project that usually takes until noon only took until 6:30...we had to find bullshit things to do for an hour and a half before the store even opened, so by the time it opened there was nothing to do at all. It was bad.
By the way, I am NOT salesfloor material...
Anyways, everyone was freaking out because there were assessments today. This is also known as "every friggin person from coporate is going to show up and tell you why you all suck at your jobs." We also had interns gallore. Between those two things going on, Katie got 4 quizzes, I got 3. They weren't quizzing everyone, how did the two of us get randomly picked by people multiple times, when others didn't have a word said to them?
Oh well, because I answered the call button in my area I won a stuff Target dog. He now resides in the back window of my car.
I'm still not used to saying "my car."
Anywho, after work I went to go see Knocked Up. That movie was kind of hilarious. Like I don't think I've laughed that much at a movie in a looooooooong time.
So yeah, I need to sleep, because my alarm went off just about now yesterday....
As a side for anyone who doesn't see Facebook feeds...Kevin and I broke up. Thought some of you would like to know that.
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I work at 5 AM tomorrow. Believe it or not, I'm excited for it. I volunteered to do it too.
Most of you are going "sooooo...who is this, and where is Jenn?"
Yeah it's early, but it's a simple job and I'll be done by 1:30.
I also picked up an extra shift on Thursday (ew cashiering!) and extended my shift on Friday.
In other words, I'm working a shit load, but I've got 36 or so hours this week. Add that to my hours last week, and I am in for one hell of a paycheck.
Anywho, I feel like summer is really short and really long at the same time. August 25th seems so far away, but I've got 4 more weeks of work, then 2 weeks of "vacation" time, and 3 or 4 weeks of work after that depending on how my plans to return to Michigan for a bit turn out. It's weird, I wanted it to be over really quick originally, but I'm starting to enjoy myself and the people I've found here. It's sad to think that I probably won't see them again until Thanksgiving...unless of course I guilt them into coming to Western for a weekend or two. Oh well, no sense worrying about such things yet....
I have today off, and it's raining out. *sigh*
I went for a run and tried some sprints for the first time in forever. My legs promptly told me that they will kill me if I do that again. I've gotten alot slower too....like alot...it makes me sad.
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I've got 10 minutes to kill until I leave for work...so here's another infamous update of random information that really doesn't matter.
I had a check up fairly recently on my heart. It's still something to watch, but unless something horribly traumatic happens, I should be clear of any major issues for a good 5 years, which I think is a nice turn around from "sooooooo you might have to have your valve replaced." Yay.
I'm supposedly being moved to the inventory prep team at Target, which means I'll be working full time with the possibility of overtime. More yay.
I also got a call from this lawyer who sees the same eye doctor I do. She's looking for some part time help whenever I've got spare time. Yay once again.
I'm going to Six Flags with my new found friends in this stupid town on my birthday. Uber yay.
I still hate Illinois. Alot. Not so yay.
It's really boring here. Like really boring. And I miss my Michigan crew...which is my way of going "you should really get your butts out here." ;D
Iiiiiiiii'm just kidding, I know everyone's busy, including me. But yeah. Only another month before I get to see a familiar face again. Yay Kevin.
Dude, random note, as in more random than the rest of this...if you though Michigan construction was bad...HOLY CRAP you should see it here. I'm still in shock over it. It's everywhere, all the time, on every damned road....seriously, you have to see it...waaaaaay worse than Michigan....
Oooookay, there's my 10 minutes. I'm off to the wonderful world of guest service...
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The Cavalier's are having a BBQ 20 miles down the road. I'm going to head out there in a bit. I'm really excited, partially because it's the Cavaliers, but partially because I'll get to see a familiar Michigan face. Yay Joe!
Aaaaaaand on that note, I'm outta here.
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I went to see the new Pirates movie last night.
Whoa.
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I haven't forgotten you all. My computer just doesn't want to let me load the pictures of my car...they're coming as soon as I kick it into submission.
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Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
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It's been a year. It's been a whole year.
Wow.
Here's to another.
Happy anniversary Kevin.
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Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
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I went sledding for the first time ever tonight.
Ever.
It was sweet!
I also took part in what is now referred to as "traying" and, my personal favorite, "picnic table-ing."
Yeah, that's what I said. Picnic table.
Absolutely amazing...
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Monday, December 25th, 2006
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Sunday, November 19th, 2006
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Wow. Yesterday was fun.
The party was awesome. The party before that was pretty sweet as well.
I miss Steve and Joe. I wish I saw them more.
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dogsandfrogs's journal
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